So I find that I am using this blog to complain a lot. I'm really sorry about that. My life is a mess at the moment and it helps to get it out there. I promise this will not always be a complaining blog. But for right now it is. My life has gotten so confusing! I don't know how I let this happen. I used to be so sure about what I wanted and about how my life was supposed to end up. But now I am completely lost. Maybe my life is supposed to go down some path that I don't know about, or I do know about but have not really wanted to accept. Maybe this confusion is supposed to make me realize something or learn some kind of valuable lesson. I don't know. All I know is my life is way too complicated right now. I have only been home for a week and I'm already wanting to go back to Cedar where I don't have to deal with my confusion. I know it's a shocker. I never want to be in Cedar, but it's become my safe haven away from my problems, well at least the problems I don't want to deal with right now. I miss my roomies!!! They always knew how to distract me and cheer me up. Now I'm home with no where to turn to. I guess I should just face my problems and deal with them, but I really don't want to. It's so much easier to hide. I hate being so lost and confused! I hate feeling the way I do. I honestly feel like I have done something horribly wrong and I don't know why. Maybe I have. People are telling me I haven't but I feel like I have. If this is how my summer is going to be I am not looking forward to it. Hopefully the confusion ends soon before I go mad!!! Well thanks again for letting me vent. I promise to try and have some happiness to talk about next time. Til next time...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Confusion
So I find that I am using this blog to complain a lot. I'm really sorry about that. My life is a mess at the moment and it helps to get it out there. I promise this will not always be a complaining blog. But for right now it is. My life has gotten so confusing! I don't know how I let this happen. I used to be so sure about what I wanted and about how my life was supposed to end up. But now I am completely lost. Maybe my life is supposed to go down some path that I don't know about, or I do know about but have not really wanted to accept. Maybe this confusion is supposed to make me realize something or learn some kind of valuable lesson. I don't know. All I know is my life is way too complicated right now. I have only been home for a week and I'm already wanting to go back to Cedar where I don't have to deal with my confusion. I know it's a shocker. I never want to be in Cedar, but it's become my safe haven away from my problems, well at least the problems I don't want to deal with right now. I miss my roomies!!! They always knew how to distract me and cheer me up. Now I'm home with no where to turn to. I guess I should just face my problems and deal with them, but I really don't want to. It's so much easier to hide. I hate being so lost and confused! I hate feeling the way I do. I honestly feel like I have done something horribly wrong and I don't know why. Maybe I have. People are telling me I haven't but I feel like I have. If this is how my summer is going to be I am not looking forward to it. Hopefully the confusion ends soon before I go mad!!! Well thanks again for letting me vent. I promise to try and have some happiness to talk about next time. Til next time...
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3 comments:
Don't be sad :( plus I don't know what your talking about but I'm sure it will get better. it's only been a week :)
Actually Kati Jo you do know what I'm talking about. We have talked about it before...if you can't figure it out text me and I will explain lol!
First I love your blog. The key is to keep it real. I know blogs that are all happy and cheery and I might add LAME!! Blogs are a (my) way of journaling. You don't want to look back and only see the happy good times, but remember some of the not so good times. You will be glad you wrote it!! Keep it up.
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